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me contaba cómo
cuando matas a una serpiente
no la puedes cortar
porque de cada parte sale una nueva
hay que aplastarlas
mucho y muy duro
pero es interesante porque es de oaxaca y lo dijo como un hecho, como que así sucede, es verdad
ay no mamesss
uf, sabes que me pongo mega mal con ese pedo
pensé que ya lo tenías más manejado
pero a la vez siempre tengo curiosidad
es que no tienen patitas
weeee, hago progresos pírricos
hablar de esto es irlo manejando
no pude ni leer la nota de la que salió en metro la villa
y we, metro la villa?
seguro era de una curandera o algo así
chale, están en todas partes
mi máximo temor no metafísico, no de muerte
como que la vida me tiene reservado ese momento ojete
y ha pasado pero no heavy o no como imagino el que sería así culero de me infarto
yo creo que está padre tener esos miedos
te hace interesante
jajajajajaja, no mames
a nadie le parece interesante…
de hecho me caga, porque no son comprensivos. creen que es de risa, que es detalle de color
pues por eso es interesante, porque lo parece porque te lo tomas muy en serio
pero ES VERDAD
sí y las llamo, we
entonces en algún punto estoy convencida de que comparto algo con ellas
es raro, porque las detesto y a la vez me causan curiosidad
pero no puedo ni leer info de ellas aunque no haya fotos
mi imaginación es muy poderosa
es que neta no
no entiendo qué pedo con esa forma
pues no sé
algo ha de querer decir
me causa demasiado horror la forma
como que algo vivo no puede ser así
me suena a que un psicoanalista te usaría de caso
“L le tenía pavor a la forma metafísica de las ****”
ya, cambiemos de tema
ya me puse loquita, jajajaja
/derivas, derivas conversacionales/larga discusión en torno al nacionalismo y México y temas serios y otras cosas que luego serán usadas para otras cosas/
me cansa chatear y a la vez lo hago mucho
me duelen los dedos, la mano
se debería poder chatear con la mente
a mí me gusta
somos chateadores, we
porque somos usuarios 1.0 de internet
cuando lo chido era el chateo
no sus pinches videos periscope
no mames te imaginas que se pudiera chatear a través del aire?
o sea que tuviéramos algo así como un órgano en el cuerpo con el que pudiéramos chatear sin necesidad de una computadora
he tenido unas fantasías futuristas muy gachas
que nos controle google?
yo ya no entiendo el periscope ni el snapchat ni nada
estoy mega mega mega seguro de que ya viene el backlash contra internet
en la generación que viene debajo de ésta se va a rebelar
sucede con cada medio
te lo prometo
entre ellos va a ser mal visto tener facebook, usar smartphone, etc.
nosotros recordamos la vida sin internet, los millennials son los que no tienen arreglo
mi infancia fue muy feliz sin internet
si hubiera tenido internet, hoy no estaría viva, we
yo iba al monte con mis vecinos
a buscar el ojo de agua
pero en oaxaca no había ni tv
no había canal cinco
entonces no había caricaturas
yo siempre tuve tele
mucha. en mi casa ven mucha
llegamos a tener antena parabólica en polo… nadie tenía cable pero nosotros teníamos hasta mtv gringo
pero aún así yo siempre tuve mi vida ñoña, nerd, consumista culturalmente, y la real de salir, gente, aire, vida, sol
yo veía mucho mtv
y la niña que congelaba el tiempo con los dedos
siempre quise ese poder
yo amaba nickelodeon
y mtv en 1998 era muy bueno
/larga deriva a charla personal/conflictos y resoluciones/
ajá, estoy orita como marge
en momentos como éste…
llegué con 6 libros a BA y ya tengo más de 30 yo creo
es el paraíso libresco acá
pero luego te mega deprime
por tanto libro?
a lo mejor borges pisó donde tú pisas
cuando fui a atenas
GOEI SÓCRATES VIO ESTE MAR
GOEI ARISTÓTELES CAMINÓ POR ACÁ
y claro, paso seguido por su último depa, we, está a pasos de aquí. hoy pasé, de hecho. e iba pensando al ver toda la vulgaridad alrededor qué habría pensado él. y lo bello, porque hacia su edificio se pone bien lindo
/charla más seria sobre Borges, separación entre obra y artista, literatura y vida, que nos guardaremos, nos guardaremos, etc./
hablando de gente insoportable
me contaron /larga explicación del chisme/ que vargas llosa
LA TIENE CHIQUITA
puedo creer eso
todo el chisme te esperas algo cabrón, no mames
chale, qué horrible
me lo imaginaba así bien vergas
con su cara perfecta y viril
y sus cejas
pero que es muy chambeador y lo compensa
este es el mejor homenaje que le haremos al boom
lo cual tiene sentido, porque a fin de cuentas para ser escritor se requiere persistencia
vargas llosa era el soldadito
así lo llamaban
a borges seguro no se le paraba
chance murió virgen
garcía márquez seguro era pitudo
los colombianos tienen fama
claro, garcía márquez… no muy muy porque también lo imagino chambeador
el que seguro sí estaba hipervergón era fuentes
ese era un dandy hecho y derecho
no mames, era un actor de cine
seguro de sí mismo, carismático, culto
hasta el nombre
con poca autocrítica de pronto, pero con momentos cabrones de inspiración
y aparte de ser niño fresa, yo creo que sí era vergudo, por las mujeres que tuvo, por sus historias y por su seguridad
por más papá diplomático y cultísimo que tengas…
apenas leí al fin la región más transparente y sí no me chingues
cortázar no sé
yo creo que pitochico
we, nunca había escrito tanto verga y similares
acá no la usan, sabes? es pija
bueno creo que yo haría lo mismo
suena menos varonil
verga > pija
/más desvíos conversacionales/
por cierto, ya CASI sale la nueva de bond
en el trailer se ve el zócalo
amo james bond
vamos a verla
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El café sabe diferente, el cigarro sabe diferente, la Coca Cola sabe diferente, hasta el agua sabe diferente. Pero después voy a olvidar a qué sabían en realidad. A qué sabían allá.
Soy débil. Me siento irritada. Eludo responsabilidades. Intento salir de mí y verme desde otra distancia, o más bien no verme sino situarme afuera, sin estudiarme. Pero después, cuando he estado mucho tiempo con otras personas, en actividades concretas, en el centro mismo de la realidad, ansío un momento a solas para sumergirme en mí misma, como si adentro hubiera un pozo (pero no es oscuro) o tal vez una alberca en la que me es preferible nadar y concentrarme. Soy egoísta, también. Me doy muy poco a los demás, en el fondo. En la superficie parece lo contrario. O eso imagino, pienso que esa debe ser la explicación para que las personas me quieran y hasta, en ocasiones, se enamoren de mí, y que nunca me falte en quién confiar y a quién querer en los diversos lugares donde tengo que estar.
Pero hace poco descubrí, con sorpresa y enorme pesar, que me resulta muy fácil desprenderme. Incluso de los que más amo, incluso de los que amo más que a mí misma.
Yo sé que allá, en el sur, estaré con la única persona con la que siempre he estado. Y después, en otro mañana, si no me muero, será lo mismo. Pero esto no me angustia. La única persona que me ha acompañado, a lo largo de épocas y lugares y grupos de personas, la miro todas las mañanas, todavía no me cansa por completo. (¡obviedad: soy yo!). A veces me molesta, me choca, me avergüenza; a veces me da lastimita, a veces me cae bien, a veces la puedo mirar desde afuera, pero estudiándola, con ojos que no son míos, para decir: está bien. Con razón.
En realidad namás escribo por escribir. Porque tengo varios textos pendientes del trabajo y, como siempre, no puedo escribirlos. Pero tengo ganas de escribir. Aunque no tengo deseos de escribir en mi cuento, que está por abandonarse en su, espero, mejor versión posible. He pensado en él como una escultura de barro que primero fue una simple bola deforme, después fue creciendo hacia arriba, con pequeños detalles que he fabricado y deshecho, una bola manoseada que ya tomó su forma final pero a la que todavía se le pueden afinar ángulos y acabados y colocarle un fijador digno, pues el que tiene fue hecho al aventón. Y está bien, me gusta la labor de retoque, pero es peligroso, acercarse a lo definitivo, a lo final, en lugar de retozar en lo inacabado, como esto. Que en el futuro podría borrar y editar, como acostumbro.
Me digo que no idealizo aquella ciudad en la que viviré. La razón es que también la padecí, una vez que dejé de pasear en ella y tuve que usarla. Me digo que me he mudado a otras ciudades antes, y sola. Que no tengo por qué olvidar el idioma (yo soy una tonta, cuando he estado en otros lugares donde tengo que hablar inglés durante mucho tiempo, la gramática del español se me empieza a olvidar, ya no conjugo bien y empiezo a trasladar y a perder un poco la lengua, cosa que me aterra; por eso me gusta tanto la literatura en español, además de la obvia ventaja de leer al autor en su estilo original, con sus dificultades originales, porque el español me gusta, es un idioma que a mí me gusta, pues). No necesito decirme que voy a extrañar. Y, a veces, desear volver.
No había extrañado sino hasta hace dos semanas. De pronto empecé a extrañar a todos. Me sentí muy triste por eso.
Debo escribir las cosas que debo escribir. Aunque acá se sienta mejor (pero aún así siento que esto es falso y poco sincero).
The Royal Academy of Spanish Language defines irony as a «disguised and fine mockery.» These days, some 40 years after the publication of his first novel, the word I like to set Milan Kundera’s narrative is this: irony.
In 2008 a schism occurred in the literary community: the Czech writer, once considered -although he never won- for the Nobel Prize, was accused of betraying a suspected spy in 1950, while still active in the Communist Party.
There’s a reason to the use the word «accused» instead of other one. Action is implied by the word: the journal Respekt, a Czech published research based on police records, apparently unveiled the frightening reality: Kundera in fact, had been an informer.
The action was despicable as an overlooked aspect of the personality of the Czech writer was discovered and worse, the entire system of beliefs around him and his literature was put into question. The most representative novels of Kundera, from The Unbearable Lightness of Being to the Book of Laughter and Forgetting, have a similar thematic axis: Communism as a repressive regime, chasing and condemning those who did not agree with their ideals.
Apparently the 21-year Kundera, on March 14 at four in the afternoon, went to a police station to denounce Miroslav Dvoracek as an undercover agent. This fact, as simply as terrifying, led to the apprehension of Dvoracek, who was sentenced to 22 years in prison and ended up serving 14 in a uranium mine.
The plot thickens in an argument that may well have been the key frame of any novel of Kundera: Dvoracek was the lover of Iva Militká, Ivan Daska’s girlfriend, who by then was a friend of Kundera’s.
The thread of events, according to Respekt, was as follows: Dvoracek told that he was a desertor military pilot who later returned to Czechoslovakia as a western spy. Militká told this to Daská, who told Kundera, who arrived at the police station and precipitated the events that today, 58 years later, irreversibly condemned the writer.
Betrayal of honor? Informal revenge? What really happened?
Milan Kundera published his first novel in 1967: The Joke is the story of a trifle that would change for good the life of the protagonist, Ludvik, a college student, full of pride and vitality, active part of the Communist Party, who wants to test the love of her summer affair, Marketa. Separated as they were by an ideological course that will sharpen Marketa’s wits, Ludvik sent her a provocative post card in which unconsciously mocked communism and his followers, and stated: «Optimism is the opium of the people! The healthy atmosphere stinks stupidity.»
This simple joke, taken literally by the shortsighted Marketa, raised the expulsion from the party of Ludvik, who had to do hard labor in a mine for dropouts or «confused sympathizers». His college studies, his future, his perspectives, his whole ideology as it was: everything is removed by the roots.
Ludvik summed it up with a devastating phrase «all the threads had been stripped “.
In the end, the real joke is not so much of a thoughtless joke of his youth, but the course of his life itself, an incomplete, mutilated life, in which Ludvik revolved around a small satellite placed in a postcard.
Despite everything, and Kundera has established this categorically, The Joke is a love story, the non-stop persecution of a woman, Lucie, whom Ludvik would love in an innocent, almost intuitive way, and against all odds.
Of course, everything written here has the whiff of coincidence and moral sanction. Beyond that, the facts.
Since The Joke was published -an automatic bestseller- Milan Kundera became a cultural pariah in the Czechoslovakia of back then. Expelled in 1950 and then reinstated in the Communist Party six years later, his «counterrevolutionary bible» exiled him from his homeland and moved him to France, where he settled and changed nationality.
Milan Kundera is the perfect example of not being a prophet in his own land, where only three years ago a second printing of his most famous novel was made, The unbearable lightness of being. Outside of that universe, clearly marked by Soviet totalitarianism, Milan Kundera is acclaimed. It’s about a literary celebrity, one of the most important living writers, and his work is considered as essential in contemporary literature.
The research made by Respekt, according to Fernando Valenzuela in his essay «The window of the spies» , has staggering inconsistencies: it bases its argument on Milan Kundera’s name appearing in one of the police reports, with so many gaps in both readability and speech, that is almost incredible to think that something like this was taken as definitive proof of Kundera’s guilt.
More importantly, and as Valenzuela had settled, being the translator and expert of the Czech language, the reports seem to indicate that it was Militká who denounced Dvoracek. The same defendant, to crown the irony, who recently suffered a heart stroke, continues believing that it was she who betrayed him. Others, like Juan Goytisolo in El País, and supported by the text of a historian of Prague, Zdenek Pesat -who claims to know the facts by firsthand-, speculated that was actually Miliktá’s husband who accused Dvoracek, but he did that with the purpose of protecting her, because the relationship with deserters/spies was highly convicted and she was right in the spotlight.
The question of who did it matter very little in the end, but emphasizes a whole tangle of allegations and accusations that equals a modern witch-burning against Kundera.
The Nobel Prize? Of course we can leave this out of Kundera´s wishlist, and to this unfortunate event we can easily add a number of vile documents where detractors call to get rid of all the books of the Czech origin French writer.
These instant answers -of a supposed high morality- cause me such anger hard to define. In the sentence is implied a superiority too ethereal to admit such an offense by a human being: to them, the betrayal is so heinous as the crimes against humanity, and does not allow any tolerance whatsoever. Especially if this fact led to the «suffering» of a fellow. What these individuals seek to ignore is that the accusation is nothing but a synonym for indictment, which in turn is synonymous with the conviction from they are personally engaged to, and in this regard they are as despicable as the object of their disapproval.
Nevertheless, in light of all the facts I have given, I like to think that he did it. Thus, each of his books operated as a limited atonement, intimate, of his past in the socialist youth. The sins of youth are not vested in the facts but on beliefs. Kundera was not wrong, in the manichaean sense of the word, for having betrayed a spy. If there was anything wrong with him, was on the side of his ideology, but how to blame him if at the end of the day he was a young Czech raised in a particular socio-historical context, inescapable, which was impossible to separate? His following novels denounce the repression, and were more important as where he was part of that ideological conglomerate, he believed in that, and he was active with absolute freedom in the Communist Party.
To support this theory, which in my believe enhances his work and gives it a different complexity than usual, a fragment from The Joke:
«… Most people are deceived by a double misconception: they believe in eternal memory (of people, things, events, nations) and the possibility of repair (for acts, for injustice). Both beliefs are false. The reality is quite the opposite: everything will be forgotten and nothing will be repaired. The role of the repair (of revenge and forgiveness) is carried out by oblivion. No one will repair the injustices that were committed, but all injustices will be forgotten «.
Is it possible to think perhaps that the whole work of Kundera is nothing but a long joke? A complaint after complaint: a guy kills a deer and suddenly, motivated by guilt or anxiety, or maybe for no reason at all, condemns the hunt avidly.
I like to think of a tormented Kundera, seeking his redemption through words. But just as his imaginary Ludvik, he has been the subject of a joke of an impossible magnitude, and his past does not matter. That is the real irony.